“If I could show you how awful you made me feel, you would never be able to look me in the eye again.”
The best lesson I have ever been taught is:
“It’s your life; don’t stick with other’s words.” Most of us easily get influenced by other’s words and behavior. We change our mood according to their opinions and perceptions. Is it right to change your mood, behavior, lifestyle, thought process and attitude only for others because they think it’s not correct? No, this is not done. We are individuals, we have our own different mindsets, thinking, views, opinions, likes, dislikes, desires, dreams, goals, choices, values, morals, principles.
Many times we got some unexpected behavior and tasks from our closed ones. Sometimes they want to act us those things which our inner voice doesn’t allow, but we do that just because we wish to make everyone happy. We don’t want to hurt them. We think if we will say no to them it will be their disrespect.
Who wishes to own others or who likes to interfere in others life? The person, who is not satisfied with himself and who compares himself with others. The one who thinks, if nothing is going to be right in his life so he should disturb others. The one who cannot see someone being superior to him. The one who is not confident about his skills and abilities. The who has no self-confidence. The one who has no ruling power, who cannot manage his time, relations, tasks, knowledge. The one who believes in showoff, fake personalities, temporary happiness. The one who always sees the half empty glass, and who is unknown of himself.
Explore your self. It is the first step towards self-ownership. Think about your positive sides. Take a paper and pen and sit in a peaceful place. Try to find out your interests, skills, fears, distractions, and abilities. Write down these all things about everything on that paper which is running through your mind at that time. Then read them and find out the ways to polish your skills, grow your abilities and overcome your fears. Only we know what our real happiness is of course.
Don’t try to change yourself but try to improve yourself. Things cannot be changed hard and fast. It takes a period of time to make a visible change. If we try for a sudden change, it will take a lot of efforts and produce a state of physical and mental loss. At the same place if we create efforts to improve our self it will take some time but we shall be groomed by it. A regular and continuous improvement will make a great change in us with lots of benefits. Let’s take a very common example of being Fat to Fit. If a person is embarrassed due to his overweight body and ugly look and he wants some weight loss for having an attractive look and a healthy body. He suddenly starts a Diet Plan and gym. It is damn sure that he will quit his weight loss plan as soon as possible. It is impossible to wake up early morning if you are the habitat of late night sleeping. If you will not take full sleep your health will be affected in a negative manner. If you suddenly start taking fewer calories than your regular diet you will face some weakness and dizziness. But if you will make a small change of half hours in your sleep timings on regular intervals of a week, after some months you will definitely start an on-time sleep and never going to miss a sunrise. In the same way, if you will take some, fruit, juice and salads at the place of more junk food in your diet, it will positively nourish you. Don’t less the quantity of your food but change the quality or type of food you are taking. Don’t do exercise for more than 1 hours but try to walk at the place of using vehicles for going the ordinary and nearby tasks. This will not only be helpful in reducing your weight but also in improving your performance in daily activities.
Listen to everyone but act according to your choice. Being a good listener is a great thing, but don’t get influenced by others. Use all senses of your brain to differentiate between the goods and the bads. Make a fine line between what is happening and what is to be happened. Every person has its own morals and principles about his life which sets the boundary of his decision-making capacity and decides his behavior. Never break the principles of your life under any pressure, greed, and influence.
Act according to your choice does never meant that you can do anything wrong or illegal or against humanity. Try hard to grow yourself but not to put others down.
“Stop allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions. Stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli
Be self-dependent. Dependency forces you for acting according to others choice. Try to do your work with your hands and within time. Raise expectations from self, not from others. If you are favoring someone without his concern that is your choice but if you are expecting for that favor to be returned by him is a his-only choice. You can’t force him to do so. Lets us understand it with this simple example. The overtime hours in your company are valuable only when they are required by a task and approved by your boss, otherwise you can sit 24*7(besides your regular hours) in the office doesn’t make any sense.
Don’t interfere in others life. Don’t try to rule others. You have your body to own, your mind to rule, your tongue to control and your actions to be judged.
“ Respect your own individuality, and respect other’s individuality, never interfere in anybody’s life and don’t allow anybody to interfere in your life. Only then one day you can grow into spirituality.”
Adopt the changes without losing your originality. Follow the trend but maintain your own or I must say be the trend for others to follow. It is good to be flexible to adopt the changes but doesn’t give up your own individuality. Take only positive things in your character from others.
See the positive sides of the things. Always see the half glass full of water. Never lose hope for being better than now. Always keep your Surroundings full with those people who are supportive and encouraging for you.
“Good things happen in your life when you surround yourself with positive people.” – ROY BENNETT
“The biggest mistake I made in my life is ….. letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve.”- Someone
Accept your failure: It is the most important step in the way of being the self owner. It is hard but possible. No one can harm us without our permission. If we start admitting our faults it will become easy to make fewer mistakes than before.
“Strong people don’t put others down they lift them up.” -Michael P. Watson
“And in the end, it’s not years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln